Hello, it’s me again #SOL19 26/31

For part one of this saga, see this post from last year.

Dear Amanda,

I tried to tell you about your doctor’s appointment tomorrow, I really did. I got the email in plenty of time, but – I’m not going to lie – I kind of ignored it since you’re so far away from me. I mean, the only thing Oklahoma and Ontario have in common is that they start with O and I figured the doctor would get in touch. That said, when the next email came and said that they were going to cancel your appointment, I felt a little bad and looked you up. I found out a lot about you, and I nearly called, but then I decided that it might be an unusual introduction. “Hi, this is Amanda Potts, and I’ve been getting your emails… but about that doctor’s appointment, I really think you should go.”

Now, Amanda, maybe you cancelled that in favour of the reunion dinner? I mean, it’s in New Orleans, so it’s going to be hard to make it there after that doctor’s appointment in Oklahoma, but I think you could do it. After all, I’ve got your invitation right here & frankly, food and conversation in New Orleans sound pretty good when viewed from snowy Ottawa.

Rhodes college

As for you, Amanda, I know Arizona is a long way away, but you could keep in touch a little better, I think. I got those emails from Baby Center about trying to get pregnant for so long that it actually started to sound like a good idea. I would not have had to spend the better part of 20 minutes trying to figure out whether or not you had actually had a child if you had just updated the account. (Or if I weren’t avoiding grading, but whatever.) Finally I caved and unsubscribed, but I feel like we’ve fallen out of touch.

And Amanda, Toastmasters is no follow-up to last year’s trip to Portugal. If it wasn’t bad enough that you sent me all of the pre-trip information, having the group share all the pictures with me was really just rubbing salt in my wounds. I feel a little better, however, knowing that this March sees you attending toastmasters rather than yoga on the beach. That said, self-improvement is always a good thing, so you go, girl. I swear I won’t snicker when you’re looking.

And seriously, Amanda, I don’t know which one of you gave my email to Polk County Jail, but I was pretty taken aback when I got a request for communication from an inmate who counts you among his friends and family. Just FYI, since I don’t fit that bill at all, you’re going to have to figure this one out on your own.

Finally, I have a bone to pick with you all: whoever signed up for Ancestry.com and Siriusxm – you’re on my shit list. Let’s stick with more interesting mistakes, please, I’m going to need to update this letter next year, and that sort of novice error just isn’t going to cut it.

Hugs and kisses to all of you,
Amanda
(the real owner of that email address)

 

16 thoughts on “Hello, it’s me again #SOL19 26/31

  1. Hahaha!! This is so great, Amanda! I even went back and read your post from last year. (How did I miss that one?) My name has given me some interesting experiences. Who would have the name “Alice Nine”… right? Well, a Japanese visual kei rock band does. Seriously. Believe me it has led to interesting conversations when I first meet people who took time to “google” me before our meeting. I tell them I was paying taxes with the name Alice Nine before the members of that rock band were born. When I first discovered the band’s existence, I started using A9 on social media and guess what, they revised their name to A9. Really!?!

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  2. Well, this is very unique. I don’t think I’ve read anything like this before. It’s like a choose your own adventure, but with emails. And addressing the Amandas like they are one and yet many is a genius move. I wanna know if she ever has a baby (I love that you lamented that you lost touch with her)! And the Ancestry.com thing could be just the answer you’re looking for! You could all be related! Very funny post, I loved it!

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    1. Ancestry.com – for heaven’s sake. Sometimes I go in search of them, these Amandas. The one in NYC I actually have regular contact with – mostly forwarding her important emails. The others, not so much. But I’m determined to find out about that baby, so next time I have wifi and a few minutes…

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  3. I remember this from last year, too! How do you get so many random emails and calls? That’s crazy. That being said, it makes for really funny posts! I love how you turned them into letters, and they sort of crescendo with emotion! Lots of humor!

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    1. And these are just the recent emails. I’m telling you, given how often these women give the wrong address in relatively important situations, Amanda Potts is not necessarily synonymous with attention to detail.

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  4. I also remember this from last year. I think you have the makings of a novel here. It is for our benefit, I realize, but I do appreciate your humor and patience with it all. Good bless the Amandas out there…from an Emily. 🙂

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  5. Ohhh! I’m so glad you revisited this “story”! I just really see this as a book you must write. I’m going to pre-order 20 copies, so let me know where to send my $$.

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