For part one of this saga, see this post from last year.
I tried to tell you about your doctor’s appointment tomorrow, I really did. I got the email in plenty of time, but – I’m not going to lie – I kind of ignored it since you’re so far away from me. I mean, the only thing Oklahoma and Ontario have in common is that they start with O and I figured the doctor would get in touch. That said, when the next email came and said that they were going to cancel your appointment, I felt a little bad and looked you up. I found out a lot about you, and I nearly called, but then I decided that it might be an unusual introduction. “Hi, this is Amanda Potts, and I’ve been getting your emails… but about that doctor’s appointment, I really think you should go.”
Now, Amanda, maybe you cancelled that in favour of the reunion dinner? I mean, it’s in New Orleans, so it’s going to be hard to make it there after that doctor’s appointment in Oklahoma, but I think you could do it. After all, I’ve got your invitation right here & frankly, food and conversation in New Orleans sound pretty good when viewed from snowy Ottawa.
As for you, Amanda, I know Arizona is a long way away, but you could keep in touch a little better, I think. I got those emails from Baby Center about trying to get pregnant for so long that it actually started to sound like a good idea. I would not have had to spend the better part of 20 minutes trying to figure out whether or not you had actually had a child if you had just updated the account. (Or if I weren’t avoiding grading, but whatever.) Finally I caved and unsubscribed, but I feel like we’ve fallen out of touch.
And Amanda, Toastmasters is no follow-up to last year’s trip to Portugal. If it wasn’t bad enough that you sent me all of the pre-trip information, having the group share all the pictures with me was really just rubbing salt in my wounds. I feel a little better, however, knowing that this March sees you attending toastmasters rather than yoga on the beach. That said, self-improvement is always a good thing, so you go, girl. I swear I won’t snicker when you’re looking.
And seriously, Amanda, I don’t know which one of you gave my email to Polk County Jail, but I was pretty taken aback when I got a request for communication from an inmate who counts you among his friends and family. Just FYI, since I don’t fit that bill at all, you’re going to have to figure this one out on your own.
Finally, I have a bone to pick with you all: whoever signed up for Ancestry.com and Siriusxm – you’re on my shit list. Let’s stick with more interesting mistakes, please, I’m going to need to update this letter next year, and that sort of novice error just isn’t going to cut it.
Hugs and kisses to all of you,
(the real owner of that email address)