This is what writing and publishing every day leads to: I wrote a complaint letter last week (something I’ve only done a handful of times in my life), and when I stepped back to look at it, I realized it was really a slice. Turns out that slicing a complaint letter yields results. (I removed the name of the place because I’m not trying to slag them – though I was annoyed.)
Dear X,
Two days ago, my family and I visited your attraction for the second time. We visited last year for the first time and our children loved it so much that they begged to return to Toronto and go again this year. Since we had also been mesmerized by your attraction, it was easy to say yes.
This year, my 7-year-old saved his allowance because he remembered a shark stuffed animal that he really wanted to purchase. He was wiggly with excitement about this and talked about it endlessly. After another delightful visit, he raced into the gift shop and headed straight for the sharks. He spent quite a long time choosing, finally emerging triumphant with a shark that is at least 30 inches long. He proudly paid for it with his own money.
He has slept with it for two nights. He has not thrown it or dragged it or stepped on it, but this morning we noticed a 4 inch hole in one of the seams. You can imagine his disappointment. We do not live in Toronto and this is our last day here. We cannot get back to your attraction to replace his toy. We can only write to you to express our disappointment.
This shark has a tag saying your company name. I know that your company does not actually make them, but I did want to tell you about the poor quality of the product bearing your name. I can sew up the hole when we get home. I’ll probably do a better job than the factory in China, but I am nevertheless so disappointed that I wanted to write to you to let you know.
Sincerely,
Me
And guess what happens when I complain and slice simultaneously? They wrote back and offered to replace his toy! His response, which I sent to them, made me laugh: “Thank you for offering me a new shark but my mom already fixed it for me. She is a very good sew-er. Maybe you can send me an octopus or a snake or a narwhal, but that one’s like $50.” I’m betting he gets a new toy pretty soon.
UPDATE: Here’s what he received in the mail. He is delighted!
I'm a high school English and Social Science teacher in Ottawa, Ontario. I'm also a reader, a writer, a walker, a wife and a mother of two. I use this space to think and write about teaching and living.
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20 thoughts on “Oops, I did it again – an accidental slice”
Love this slice. I learned a new word: “slagged.” Your letter is fabulous, but your son’s letter is perfect. The kid has voice and chutzpah.
Oh, he’s big trouble in a small package, that one! And living in Canada means that odd British slang has crept into my vocabulary. Didn’t even realize that “slag” was one of them! One of my favourites is “keener” – CANADIAN informal
a person who is who is extremely eager, zealous, or enthusiastic. “keeners who spent most of high school buried in homework”
That’s a great response. We were at “the attraction” a few years ago and have yet to go back because the crowds were so discouraging! We hardly got to see anything but people. Maybe I need to be brave and do it.
😉 Guess fellow Ontarians can figure this out easily – we went first thing in the morning both last year and this year (during March break, no less) and had no trouble with crowds at all.
I think you are teaching you son a valuable lesson here. We choose to write at specific times, for specific purposed, and for specific audiences. Real life writing. That writing can make a difference! This was a great example of this.
You know, I hadn’t seen it that way – though I might have in the classroom. My son certainly thinks the whole thing is pretty amazing. He couldn’t believe they wrote back!
My boys would have loved that shark,too – the photo is priceless! Good for you for speaking out – companies need to be aware of these things. Kudos to them for offering to make things right. You must keep us posted on how this plays out! I am hoping for the narwhal, too, partly because it’s so unusual (and fifty bucks) but more because I like the sound of the name. 🙂
Your letter was the perfect slice. I was thinking this morning about all the things I have learned through slicing and reading slices. You were a great role model
By Tom LeGrand, a bona fide candidate for the title of World's Worst Pastor. I went from Pastor to Professor to Pastor to working in a Pizza kitchen. How's that for the reverse of "career advancement?"
Love this slice. I learned a new word: “slagged.” Your letter is fabulous, but your son’s letter is perfect. The kid has voice and chutzpah.
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Oh, he’s big trouble in a small package, that one! And living in Canada means that odd British slang has crept into my vocabulary. Didn’t even realize that “slag” was one of them! One of my favourites is “keener” – CANADIAN informal
a person who is who is extremely eager, zealous, or enthusiastic. “keeners who spent most of high school buried in homework”
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I’m going to work these words into my vocabulary!
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Love your slice! Funny how things in our daily life become perfect slices. Your son’s response was priceless! 🙂
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He doesn’t mince his words, that’s for sure. 🙂
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Great slice! I’m impressed by the response of the attraction—and your son’s. I’m hoping he gets the octopus.
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I’m kind of hoping for a narwhal, as one does. Hahaha
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What a slice and a way to teach your son the power our writing can have.
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I had the same thought; a fantastic lesson to teach our kids that writing can move mountains! 🙂
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He is very tickled by the whole thing.
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That’s a great response. We were at “the attraction” a few years ago and have yet to go back because the crowds were so discouraging! We hardly got to see anything but people. Maybe I need to be brave and do it.
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😉 Guess fellow Ontarians can figure this out easily – we went first thing in the morning both last year and this year (during March break, no less) and had no trouble with crowds at all.
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I think you are teaching you son a valuable lesson here. We choose to write at specific times, for specific purposed, and for specific audiences. Real life writing. That writing can make a difference! This was a great example of this.
I laughed at your son’s response. Way to go!
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You know, I hadn’t seen it that way – though I might have in the classroom. My son certainly thinks the whole thing is pretty amazing. He couldn’t believe they wrote back!
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My boys would have loved that shark,too – the photo is priceless! Good for you for speaking out – companies need to be aware of these things. Kudos to them for offering to make things right. You must keep us posted on how this plays out! I am hoping for the narwhal, too, partly because it’s so unusual (and fifty bucks) but more because I like the sound of the name. 🙂
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I know – I mean “narwhal” – I feel like we would really appreciate something with that sort of name in this house.
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Your letter was the perfect slice. I was thinking this morning about all the things I have learned through slicing and reading slices. You were a great role model
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Thanks! Slicing really has changed me for the better this month!
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I hate when something like this happens! And yet you handled it so well! Your son’s response is the best, though! 🙂 Priceless. Thanks for sharing!
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He makes us laugh all the time, that kid. 🙂
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