This is what writing and publishing every day leads to: I wrote a complaint letter last week (something I’ve only done a handful of times in my life), and when I stepped back to look at it, I realized it was really a slice. Turns out that slicing a complaint letter yields results. (I removed the name of the place because I’m not trying to slag them – though I was annoyed.)
Two days ago, my family and I visited your attraction for the second time. We visited last year for the first time and our children loved it so much that they begged to return to Toronto and go again this year. Since we had also been mesmerized by your attraction, it was easy to say yes.
This year, my 7-year-old saved his allowance because he remembered a shark stuffed animal that he really wanted to purchase. He was wiggly with excitement about this and talked about it endlessly. After another delightful visit, he raced into the gift shop and headed straight for the sharks. He spent quite a long time choosing, finally emerging triumphant with a shark that is at least 30 inches long. He proudly paid for it with his own money.
He has slept with it for two nights. He has not thrown it or dragged it or stepped on it, but this morning we noticed a 4 inch hole in one of the seams. You can imagine his disappointment. We do not live in Toronto and this is our last day here. We cannot get back to your attraction to replace his toy. We can only write to you to express our disappointment.
This shark has a tag saying your company name. I know that your company does not actually make them, but I did want to tell you about the poor quality of the product bearing your name. I can sew up the hole when we get home. I’ll probably do a better job than the factory in China, but I am nevertheless so disappointed that I wanted to write to you to let you know.
And guess what happens when I complain and slice simultaneously? They wrote back and offered to replace his toy! His response, which I sent to them, made me laugh: “Thank you for offering me a new shark but my mom already fixed it for me. She is a very good sew-er. Maybe you can send me an octopus or a snake or a narwhal, but that one’s like $50.” I’m betting he gets a new toy pretty soon.
UPDATE: Here’s what he received in the mail. He is delighted!
Slice of Life, Day 24, March 2018
Thanks to Two Writing Teachers for this wonderful month of inspiration.