PD Day Agenda

Slice of Life, teaching, #SOL25 3 Minutes

9:30 sharp (as per the email to staff)- PD Day begins
Teachers wander into the library and mill about, slowly noticing that we have assigned seats. Some people try to switch groups. One entire table switches locations because they have been placed so far to the front and side that they cannot see the screen. 

9:33:30 – Principal address
“Today’s PD will be extremely useful.”

9:35:12 – First speaker.
Topic: substance abuse
Y’all, it is happening: kids are still abusing substances. You know it, I know it, they know it. Sure, the overall stats are pretty good and, yeah, we *could* invest in vape detectors for the bathrooms, but that costs money, so instead someone will tell you about marijuana and cannabis as though it is still the 80s. We will not talk about things like phones, social media, opioids or fentanyl. Stay focused. 

Some time later – Break – supposedly 10 minutes but now 5 because we are already behind

10:47:08 – Teacher-led presentation about [Literacy/ Numeracy]
Note that this session will begin just late enough that the staff who worked like crazy on this presentation will have to cut something important, and every minute extra will shorten our lunch.

10:48:00 – ICEBREAKER
Today we will either be annoying the Humanities teachers and boring the Science/ Math teachers or annoying the Science/ Math teachers and boring the Humanities teachers. Roll the dice. 

10:59:21 – Chipper staff members (confession: I am usually one of them) begin desperately attempting to convince other staff that they should stop saying that they “hate [math/English]” and that they really should not tell their students that [any subject but mine] won’t be useful after high school. 

10:59:42 – If the school is providing lunch, (unlikely but possible) it arrives. It is set it up in the back of the room as staff continues to learn about [math/English] and why we should integrate it into our classroom. The smell of lunch now fills the room as the staff presentation continues.

Special note: today’s lunch is scheduled to begin 30 minutes later than on a normal school day. The smell of food should permeate the room long before teachers can eat.

11:12:37 – The buzz of teacher talk suggests that everyone is on task and excited to use [math/English] in our classes next week. Or maybe it suggests that Mr. X has pulled out pictures of his twins – now 6 months old! – and everyone is cooing over them. Well, everyone except the AP Physics teacher, who is still marking tests, and two basketball coaches who are hunched over a playbook. “Look!” says a harried teacher-presenter, “That playbook is a perfect example of [math/English]!”

11:28:16 – Everyone applauds the teacher-presenters. One of them is visibly sweating; another has just wiped away tears; a third is still looking at pictures of the twins. The principal announces that all 17 afternoon sessions are now “self-directed learning” to honour us as professionals. To prove we have “engaged with the content” teachers are required to complete a “proof of engagement” after each session. This may include Google forms, e-signing a document, taking an online test, a spit shake, swearing on a religious text of your choice, taking a blood oath, offering up your firstborn unless you guess the name of a short bearded visitor, hopping on one foot for exactly 2 minutes and 16 seconds, and other activities to show that we have completed each session.

11:30 – Teachers leave for lunch

12:30ish – Some teachers return

Afternoon – 43 voluntary meetings are available for teachers to attend this afternoon. None of them are about any of the 17 required afternoon topics. They are voluntary so we do not have to be there because this is the time scheduled to complete our required self-directed work. If we choose to attend the voluntary meetings, we will have to complete the required work at home. Oh, and the Principal will be at all voluntary meetings and will take attendance. Just in case. 

Partial list of the 17 Mandatory Self-Directed Training Sessions

From the Ministry of Education: The total video time of this training is 7.25 hours, not including the time required to prove you did the work. We have allotted 3 hours for you to complete it. We have disabled your playback speed options on some – but not all – of the videos. If you figure out which videos allow you to change the speed, AND if you skip slides on the boring slideshows and just go straight to the tests, you can probably finish by the end of the school day.

Note: all training will be identical for all staff K-12 at all sites. There will be no differentiation.
7 minutes, 8 seconds: Equitable and Inclusive Schools
14 minutes, 12 seconds: Child Abuse Prevention and Reporting
8 minutes, 47 seconds: Appropriate sign-offs for professional emails
4 minutes, 3 seconds: Cybersecurity, Part 3
21 minutes, 32 seconds: Ladder skills
3 minutes, 54 seconds: Concussion Symptoms
3 minutes, 2 seconds: Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires
18 minutes, 7 seconds: Stop, Drop and Roll
5 minutes, 4 seconds: Shoe Tying – Reverse Chain or Bunny Ears?
1 minute, 44 seconds: Self-care to Prevent Burnout – You Are Responsible for Your Mental Health

Conveniently, no one knows when the teachers go home.

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Published by Amanda Potts

I'm a high school English teacher in Ottawa, Ontario. I read, write, walk & take a LOT of pictures. Sometimes my kids let me write about them. I use this space to think and write about teaching and living.

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19 thoughts on “PD Day Agenda”

  1. This post is haunting and funny and gives me 10 more reasons for being retired, as if I needed 10 more. Good luck making it through the PD day. As a gifted teacher, few, if any, of the presentations pertained to me. Either I sat in and looked interested or was allowed to go work on IEPs. PD is a necessary evil, and is a similar hell in every school system, even in Canada.

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  2. The timestamps were quite impressive. And what choices for the afternoon sessions despite the “proof of engagement”. Memories: frightening when required to attend; illuminating when I was leading.

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  5. Amanda,

    Thanks for making me laugh.

    This was so relatable!

    This paragraph had me picturing former colleagues who played these various roles:

    The buzz of teacher talk suggests that everyone is on task and excited to use [math/English] in our classes next week. Or maybe it suggests that Mr. X has pulled out pictures of his twins – now 6 months old! – and everyone is cooing over them. Well, everyone except the AP Physics teacher, who is still marking tests, and two basketball coaches who are hunched over a playbook. “Look!” says a harried teacher-presenter, “That playbook is a perfect example of [math/English]!”

    PD in retirement is fantastic because you are completely in control. Although I sometimes miss the breakfast tacos that came early in the year when there was still money left.

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  6. What a funny, creative slice! I just had a full day of PD yesterday. There’s so much insanity I can relate to (though to be honest, my school really has improved and actually gave us team time to do what we chose–though we did have to say in advance what that would be, no one really checked on us.) I hate those stupid videos so much though. We have 6-7 of them at 30 minutes each and they always say they’ll give us time and simply don’t. It’s hours of work outside of school and the same dang videos EVERY YEAR! PS I wish I could have seen the twin pics!

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  8. There’s a lot to love — the timestamps, the snark — about this piece. (There’s a lot to hate about the reality you’re talking about since this is a candid look at how too many PD days go for teachers.)

    Would you be okay with me sharing this as a BE INSPIRED piece for the the March SOLSC? If so, please email me with your permission and the permalink. THANKS!

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  9. Amanda,

    LOL! When I read “Today’s PD will be extremely useful” I knew you’d describe the kind of PD I hate, and then the ice breakers! 🤷‍♀️ “Some of the teachers return” has me reminiscing about Casper coaches. Some things, sadly, never change. Sincere thoughts and prayers for all teachers enduring mandatory PD.

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  10. Oh Amanda! So much truth. I had to laugh all the way through it or I would have cried. Girl, I remember a workshop I presented to a rural school years ago. I didn’t know a single person, total strangers. As I got started, I noticed two gentlemen in the back, a bit removed from the group, wearing sweats and reading a newspaper. (This was a time before we had the internet and hand-helds.) At break I asked the administrator who the men were and what did they teach. I was told, “Don’t worry about them; they are the coaches.” I was aghast… our workshop topic? Foundation literacy. Primary focus? Structured phonics. I asked, “Why on earth are they here? Do they tutor struggling students?” The reply, “Oh, not the coaches. They just have to get some PD hours in and if they sit in here I can check if off for them.” That’s only one of many stories from presenting PD full time for three decades.

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  11. This is so good. So funny. It should live among the greats, i.e Dear Committee Members, and Why Did I Get a B? Shannon Reed.

    You capture so many crazy, yet sadly real dynamics.

    One such dynamic:

    “To prove we have ‘engaged with the content’ teachers are required to complete a ‘proof of engagement’ after each session. This may include Google forms, e-signing a document, taking an online test, a spit shake, swearing on a religious text of your choice, taking a blood oath, offering up your firstborn unless you guess the name of a short bearded visitor, hopping on one foot for exactly 2 minutes and 16 seconds, and other activities to show that we have completed each session.”

    😂

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  13. Pingback: Day 1 of the March SOLSC #SOL26 – TWO WRITING TEACHERS

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