As I walked up the sidewalk towards the house, my heart dropped. Two large boxes waited just in front of our door. I glanced inside: the lights were off. I dropped my things on the front porch and, although I was fairly sure I already knew what I would find, dug through all the pockets of my purse: nothing. Just in case, I checked my backpack. Not there either. Finally, I walked back to the driveway, opened the passenger door and checked in the glove compartment. Still nothing. I could hear the dog pawing at the door, but there was nothing I could do about it: I was locked out.
The thing is, that after years of relative stability, lately Mr. 13 has been losing things. Notably, his house key. Because he is often the first one home in the afternoon, I loaned him my key. Then he found his key and gave mine back – but then he lost his again. Then things got complicated. Somehow or another, I realized earlier this week that I no longer had either my key or my back-up key. At the time, I thought, “I should really take care of this now,” but of course I didn’t. And here I was now, keyless.
I left my things on the porch and walked over to Mike’s because he has a spare key. He wasn’t home.
So I walked back to our front porch and texted Mr. 15. “Are you near home? I’m locked out.” Since Mr. 15 pretty much always has his notifications silenced, so I didn’t get my hopes up. I told myself that we were lucky it was such a beautiful day; just a week ago, I would have been freezing while I waited. I tried to be happy that my children were off with their friends rather than inside online.
After a few minutes with no response, I texted Andre to see if maybe – maybe – he was finishing up work early before the long weekend. Nothing.
Finally, I sat down on the front steps and texted my friend. (Yes, a fair number of people have extra keys. Our house is pretty friendly.) We were heading to the gym soon anyway, so I figured maybe she could come a bit early.
She replied immediately and agreed to come by in a few minutes. The dog was pretty unhappy about me sitting on the porch without him, but there was nothing I could do. I checked my email and waited until she arrived, tossed me the keys, and went to park. I gathered my things, moved the boxes to the side of the front door, and put the key in the lock.
Wait. The door wasn’t locked. That was odd. I pushed the door open to discover that BOTH OF MY CHILDREN WERE HOME. Both of them. One was on the computer; the other was in the kitchen *on the phone I had just texted*.
“Did you not see me?” I asked. “Did you not notice the dog at the door?”
They looked at me, perplexed. No and no.
“Did you not notice that I texted? Did you not hear the delivery guy who left the boxes?”
Nope. Not at all.
Mr. 15 said, “I mean, why didn’t you just open the door?”
I looked at the large boxes, the excited dog, the dark house and my two clueless children. “Well,” I said, “I thought I was locked out.”
Persistence and Pedagogy 
You set your reader up beautifully, so that we were with you throughout it all, and especially at the end when the door was open and the kids were home! Ugh! And at that moment, did you not just think, “OMG! I am absolutely going to have to slice about this!” rofl
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I 100% did! I literally said, “Well, I’ve got my slice anyway.” 😂😂
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Amanda,
I felt terrible for you as I read and recalled calling through the window throughout the years when I was locked out. Then you discovered your children in the house, in the dark, victims of *indoor blindness and deafness*, those selective, self-imposed maladies, and I LOLd! Sorry. Anyway, I have a solution: Keyless entry. We installed a keypad on both the front and garage entry door into the house several years ago, and I love them. Of. purse, I never remember the code for the garage door, so we have it hidden in one of Ken’s toolboxes. Now if we’re out of town, and I need to have someone check on my house or provide entry for a house sitter, I just share the code.
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Yes! We did this too when we moved. Game changer…except when the batteries die.
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What a turn of events! I can only imagine how frustrated you must have been. I’m snickering a little. Funny on the other side?!?
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Ha!! What an ending. I could literally see it and hear your kids’ responses. Beautiful.
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Every slice I read feels like a window into your life, and I enjoy reading them so, so much😄♥️
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This is a perfect slice! And a perfect example of what it’s like living with teens. A few nights ago I sat in my driveway honking and trying to call and text my children. When I finally stormed into the house they had no idea I’d been waiting for them. Haha Glad your dog noticed at least,
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Glad to know it’s not just me!
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Amazing! Did not see that ending *at all!* Thank you for the surprise and the perfect story. “One was on the computer; the other was in the kitchen on the phone I had just texted.” The way I can feel this in my bones, irony of the highest order!
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Oh, I think this is one of the best slices I have ever read. How unbelievable! I mean if you had made it up, everyone would say, no, that’s not a plausible story. Kids are amazing aren’t they? I have to admit I’m glad mine grew up in the pre-phone, pre-internet era. Back in those days, you would have been heard!
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I often wish I was parenting pre-phones!
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In hindsight I realise how blessed we were back then, so much less worry as well about ‘am I parenting the correct way’ and comparing yourself to others.
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Oh noooooo. I’m glad they were home but also it sucks so much that you didn’t even think of knocking or ringing the bell. I hate when stuff like that happens, but I am very happy you didn’t have to wait in the cold.
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