Almost the end

Knit Night starts in 6 minutes and I do not have a project on the go. I always have something half-finished or nearly-dreamed, but tonight, despite oodles of patterns and skeins of yarn, I am at loose ends.

I could cry “end of the school year!” and “I’m so busy!” and skip Knit Night to mark student work, but I’ve marked everything they’ve turned in. I should be pleased about this, but I know the deluge awaits: missing assignments will magically appear by Friday and my weekend will be full.

Tonight is Tuesday, and I have not yet written a “Slice of Life,” though I meant to write last night and again this morning. I have a million half-started ideas and drafts stashed away in journals and various corners of the internet, but tonight none of them seem willing to fledge themselves into fully formed posts.

I’m even between books, and though I have half a dozen on my nightstand, none of them feel quite right. I suppose I’ll have to start *something* tonight, I can’t sleep if I don’t read, but I don’t know what it will be.

Clearly, I am almost-the-end-of-the-school-year tired. I am the tired that comes the week before the week before. Next week is the flurry – grad breakfasts and rehearsals and commencement and last days. Next week we will buzz with energy and fill the school with excitement. My evenings will be full of the well-earned exhaustion of a job (nearly) done.

Tonight I’m the tired that arrives two weeks before school ends – full of regret and longing. How much more I wish we had done! Oh, how much more we could do together! But we have finished the projects – well, nearly – and no new ones are on the horizon. Instead, what lies ahead is goodbye. We will celebrate the journey and look to the future and it will be good.

But now I’m 6 minutes late for Knit Night, and I don’t have a project on the go, but I know they’ll be happy to have me anyway. And I’ll probably come up with a new project. I always do.

6 thoughts on “Almost the end

  1. Your…
    …exhaustion from what has been done,
    …frustration in realizing what won’t get done
    …determination in what’s still to come
    …resolution that it’s all going to be okay regardless
    shines through. I know you had a fun night.


  2. We are always, always happy to have you. Always. It’s that come as you are space, in all its forms.

    Thank you for absolutely nailing my current angst. Yup. It’s the last two weeks, and we haven’t done them in 2 years. Holy bananas. All that regret and what’s next, and the freaking “shouldas”. Whew.

    Thank you.


  3. I have been bouncing from book, to project, to AQ, to movie, to TV show for a few weeks. My brain can not settle. I feel you on this, friend.


  4. I love how you structured this piece and how there’s a thread of optimism that runs throughout the waves of fatigue. (And Wow! I hear ya on the end-of-year crazy tired!) Wishing you a summer of rejuvenation!


  5. This is so real and also hilarious. The end-of-the-year exhaustion and brain fog and got-too-many-things-to-do syndrome. I am now in my third week of summer and finally feeling the rest and relief and joy. It’s probably the massage I had on Tuesday.


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