Ice, Ice, Baby: Slice of life 16/31 #SOL20

I grew up in southern climes. My father was in the Air Force and we lived in Panama, Texas and California before we settled in South Carolina. Even my “far away” university was below the Mason-Dixon line. As a result, until I moved to Ottawa, I had little experience with seriously cold weather. I refused to agree to move here until I had visited in the winter. My then-boyfriend now-husband was so anxious about this that, when I arrived in mid-February, he met me at the airport, bundled me into a taxi, looked at me and asked, with absolute sincerity, “So, do you think you can handle the cold?” I said yes. This is what love will do to you – even if you’re a Southern Girl.

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Ice ripples

I didn’t see snow fall until I was in the 5th grade. That summer, we had moved from California to South Carolina, not exactly a bastion of cold weather, but colder than what I knew. One day in February, someone yelled, “SNOW!” and we all ran to the window to see it until Mrs. Rish called us back in her quavering voice: “Sit down! Sit down, children! It’s not like you’ve never seen snow before.” I turned to her, eyes wide with wonder and said, “I haven’t.” Bless her for saying, “Well then, Mandy, you can stay there.” I pressed my face to the cold glass and watched in amazement for long minutes before I returned to my seat.

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Ice near yoga class

You can imagine my first few winters in Ottawa. I had to learn everything anew, not least of which was how to dress myself – and then babies – for cold weather. None of the coats I owned were even close to warm enough. I did not have winter boots. I was pretty sure that no gloves in the world could keep my fingers warm in February. Sometimes I tried to stay inside for days, despite Andre’s gentle insistence that going outside at least once a day was healthy.

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parking lot ice

 

Eventually, time and the kids got me outside. After all, I didn’t want to miss the fun of building snowmen or turning the back porch into an epic sledding ramp. When the boys started parent-child skating lessons, I went to the rink and tried to pretend that, like the other parents, I was mostly there to hold the kids up when, in fact, I was learning, too. Now I can lace skates – theirs and mine – stand up from a fall, and even race my kids down the frozen canal in February. I’ve come to love snowshoeing and have taken a ski lesson to get over my fear of downhill skiing. I still don’t love it, but I can get down a hill.

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This icy dragon is breathing fire

The more I played outside in the winter, the more I got used to the cold. Sure, I wear hats and gloves starting in October and straight through to April, making “real” Canadians laugh, but in last year or two I’ve caught myself “just running to the car” in slippers & a bathrobe even when the temperature is well below zero (Celsius – think maybe in the 20s Fahrenheit). Yet none of this prepared me for my recent fascination with ice.

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Ice stalactites from a roof

Canadian kids have some built-in knowledge about ice. They know which patches are likely to be slippery and which ones they can careen across without a second thought. My children tear down the sidewalk, sure-footed, running ahead while I slide my feet tentatively across every potentially slick patch, always unsure of what is safe. I am not ice-savvy; I’m not sure I ever will be. Perhaps this is why I started examining the ice all around me as I walked. It was as if my brain concluded “If I can’t intuit things about ice, maybe I can observe my way into this important knowledge.”

Much to my children’s disgust, instead of becoming a savvy winter walker, I’ve slowed down even further. The more I look at the ice, the more I fall in love. These days, I stop on the sidewalk, pause in parking lots and wander through parks, looking at the ice the way I once looked at the falling snow, in absolute wonder at the unexpected beauty of winter.

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Out the doors: Slice of Life 15/31 #SOL20

Nine months was a long time to be out of our house for renovations, but at least the humans in our household understood that our tiny apartment was only a temporary space. Tippy and Hera, our cats, were less fortunate. They clearly thought our move to the apartment was a significant turn for the worse in their lives. They were particularly grumpy about the change from being indoor/outdoor cats to being indoor cats.

Tippy – who, after we got her, spent long hours lying in wait, hidden, so that she could escape every time the smaller humans opened the door to leave – is the reason that they are allowed outside. The apartment was practically an affront to her existence, and she was, frankly, dissatisfied with the only alternative to the great outdoors that we had to offer her: a tiny back porch.

When we moved back in, our house was so dramatically altered that we didn’t know if they would recognize the place. We didn’t want to risk them getting lost, so we kept them inside for a few days. Hera was pretty relaxed about the whole situation, but Tippy was not impressed.

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So yesterday, we relented. Tippy kept begging at the front door, so we let them out. Look at their cautious excitement.

This morning, as I sat in our new kitchen, enjoying the sunshine, I noticed that neither of the girls was begging to be let out the back door, even though they were right next to it. Then I realized that they had never seen a sliding glass door before. I promptly stood up, walked over, and opened the door. I thought their heads were going to explode. Tippy who is, honestly, way way smarter than Hera, kept looking at the door and then looking at me as if to say, “Um… you just opened a WALL.” Hera actually stuck her paw through the opening and then pulled it back in several times, like some character in a Disney film who’s testing a magical portal. Eventually, they both went outside. Hera freaked herself out and came right back in – what if that magic portal turns back into a wall?! Tippy looked back as if to say, “See ya!” and disappeared into the neighbors’ yard, probably to let the neighborhood know that she’s home and will be requiring her previous rations of adoration and food.

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And I returned to my sunny spot in the kitchen, chuckling and glad to be home.

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The plan: Slice of Life 14/31 #SOL20

I like plans. I like making plans and, even better, I like having a plan. I like planning on paper because then I can see all the things I’m planning and prioritize them. Paper helps me acknowledge that not everything can be priority number one. I also really like finishing things that I have planned.

In the middle of last week, I was kind of pre-stressed out because I knew that I had more plans than time for the week of March Break. This is not unusual for me. So when COVID19 extended our March break from one week to three, I spent about five minutes being a little freaked out before my planning brain thought, “SWEET! Two extra weeks! I can get so much done!” and I started to plan.

I began by thinking about a daily routine for the kids: it would need to include study time, reading in French, physical activity, chores, screen time and non-screen free time. Then I turned my mind to the house and unpacking, then… my brain got a little full. But never fear, my brain is *very* good at coming up with to-do lists and other plans, so it kept on working, even after it was, technically, full.

This morning, I realized that my brain has been planning on overdrive for the past three days. Over tea, I started to get the sense that I *probably* should write down all the things that I’m planning to get done in the next three weeks, just to get the lay of the land. I’ll share my list with you. I haven’t prioritized yet, so I’m open to suggestions.

  • Unpack our bedroom, dining room and living room
  • Declutter as I unpack
  • Mark essays for two classes
  • Complete the readings, a project & the next paper for my online course
  • Become an expert in delivering on-line learning – preferably by Monday
  • Create a schedule for my own children, make sure they follow it and, ideally, discover their inner genius that regular schooling simply isn’t recognizing
  • Watch other people’s children – daily, for several hours, for free. Provide them with fresh, updated academic work that is differentiated according to their abilities and interests.
  • Hike, do yoga, take up an entirely new sport, become suddenly amazingly fit and figure out how to work that new routine into my regular routine when school starts again. Also maybe meditate.
  • Hang out with colleagues & friends AND have evenings with my family where we snuggle and watch movies – take and post pictures of all of this to document how easy this all is.
  • Finish knitting the second sock of a pair, complete all the lingering sewing projects & take up quilting. I can probably finish a full quilt by April, right?
  • Join Lisa’s on-line book club & attend Kylene Beers’ free workshops online & educate myself about recent research in English education, then write and publish several articles about this.
  • Finish my entire reading stack – I mean, why not? There’s only maybe 12ish books there right now, and I’m not busy.
  • Blog daily; comment on a bazillion blogs daily; catch up on all the comments I haven’t responded to – since the beginning of the month.
  • Get enough sleep.
  • Create a vaccine for COVID19, after creating and distributing fast & effective tests for the virus.
  • Enact lasting world peace and reverse climate change.

So… I don’t see any problem with this plan, do you? Now that I’ve written it down, it looks totally reasonable and completely achievable in three weeks, right? It really is a shame that I included sleep on there. I think if I left it off, I might *just* be able to get it all in.

SIGH. Maybe it’s time to go back to the drawing board on this one. Good thing I have a few weeks…

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Social distancing: Slice of Life 13/31 #SOL20

Just for today, I let the grade 10s leave before the final bell officially rang. They had asked all their questions, turned in the memoir they’d been working on, and maintained their composure for 73 minutes. They had even agreed to read at home. It seemed like enough. “Goodbye!” they called, and one or two lingered a few seconds longer than normal.

The period before that, the grade 12 students and I had worked together to make plans for our extended March break – all schools in Ontario are closed until April 5. The students met in their book clubs and planned various ways to meet for discussions: Instagram, Google hangouts Flipgrid and Google classroom will host our synchronous and asynchronous meetings. We talked about the value of journals and documentation during times of crisis, and the students decided to write regularly (I’ll provide prompts) for the next few weeks. They really want to learn, these kids. We watched Kelly McGonigal’s TED Talk “How to make stress your friend” and talked about reaching out to each other during our time apart. I reminded them that they could email me anytime, and I created a new Instagram account dedicated to working with them. I had to take a deep breath after we said goodbye.

I gave all the classroom plants extra water, gathered my things, and headed to the English office. There, several teachers were in the process of clearing out the refrigerator. April 5 is only three weeks away, but our unspoken concern was clear: what if this lasts longer? I swang by our Spec Ed room to pick up the avocado tree; it’s not really supposed to live in Ottawa, and it won’t last long without water. Back in the office, we threw things away, rinsed, washed, recycled. We gathered books, found papers, printed student phone numbers, just in case.

Finally, there was nothing left to do. Our goodbyes echoed through the hallways – “Take care!” “Be safe!” “Stay in touch!” – as teachers from various departments turned off the lights and pulled the doors closed.

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Outside of the building, a strong wind threatened to topple the tiny tree I was trying to shelter home. The car door blew shut and my colleague and I, laughing, had to work together to get the tree safely, if awkwardly, ensconced between my knees.

Training ruck march

Moments later, as we turned onto the street in front of the school, a group of soldiers marched by. We knew it was probably a training march, but it seemed oddly apropos. As we drove away from the school, from our students, from our social interactions, the incongruous soldiers in the rearview mirror, we laughed and laughed, trying to forget what we were leaving behind and how little we know of what lies ahead.

 

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Picture this: Slice of Life 12/31 #SOL20

I’m working my way around the room doing reading conferences. Several students have chosen more challenging novels in the last week or so, and I’m curious to see how things are going. As I sit down next to O, I see that he is on page 177 of Harry Potter. He’s been reading it for less than a week.

“Wow!” I say, genuinely impressed. “You’re making really good progress!”

He glances up, murmurs “Mmhmm” and keeps reading. I hate to interrupt, but I also want to check in on him. This is the first book without pictures that he has ever read (which I talked about a few days ago). I want to make sure he’s getting it.

“What do you like about the story?”

He places his finger on the line he was reading and looks at me, eyes wide with wonder. “It’s like I can see the pictures in my mind while I’m reading the words. That never happened before.”

My heart nearly bursts. Elementary teachers often get see students learn how to read; in high school these moments are few and far between. Often if students arrive in high school reading poorly, they leave the same way. For so long, I have worked to help kids learn, I have tried to believe they are “at promise” as much as “at risk,” but it is only now, more than twenty years into my career, that I think I might have hit upon a method that works. I am almost embarrassed to say what it is: meet them where they’re at; let them choose their book; give them lots of time and encouragement; believe in them; wait.

But, oh! He can picture what he’s reading. I could write about this every day forever and ever.

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Welcome home: Slice of Life 11/31 #SOL20

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Dave, the builder, surprises me at the second floor bedroom window. He’s installing siding.

I thought this post would write itself. I thought, easy peasy. We’ll get home and I’ll write about how great it is to be home.

We officially moved home yesterday evening. HOORAY! We had just enough time to get everyone into their own beds and get to sleep. It was glorious. I took today off as a “moving day” (which is a really lovely thing for my employer to offer). The day went mostly like this:

Um… have you seen the measuring cups?
Shoot! The mugs are still at the apartment! Maybe you can use a glass for your coffee? I’ll use the travel mug for tea.
How on earth did you shower with no soap in there? No, nevermind, don’t tell me.
I can’t find my long-sleeved shirts. Do you have any idea which box they might be in?
Oh my gosh! Boys! You have to get out of here! It takes 10 minutes longer to walk to school from here! You’re going to be late!
Wait – where’s the hairbrush?

Not long after the kids were off, the builders arrived. Bang! Bang! Bang! Tssssst…. tsssst….zzzzz… BANG! They were finishing up the siding. And they still had to cut the dryer vent… and we can’t put anything against the walls or in the closets yet because the painter has to do touch-ups on Friday. The final drawer pulls for the master bathroom aren’t in, so we can only open two of the drawers. There is a giant orange work trolley thing in the corner of our kitchen.

All day long, I was looking for a moment to write about that showed gratitude or humour or just, you know, my-new-house-is-great-and-also-I’m-appropriately-humble. I couldn’t find anything because, honestly, I the only thing I was feeling was overwhelmed. Every time I tried to sit down to write, I thought of something else I needed to do. I spent a lot of time opening the computer, scrolling aimlessly through social media, realizing I had forgotten something important, closing the computer to go do the suddenly important thing, realizing I hadn’t written anything, and starting the process over again.

The kids came home and scotch-taped saran-wrap to the freshly painted walls. I cannot explain this. A neighbour came over with his dog and the dog pooped on the new carpet. He was mortified (but it was perfectly easy to clean). I lost the phone handset in a pile of bedclothes and put blankets over the windows since we don’t yet have curtains or blinds. Finally, I had to take a walk to clear my head. There is an awful lot going on.

Today was a glorious mess, and guess what? We are home.

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All they want is to change the world: Slice of Life 10/31 #SOL20

My Grade 12 class is writing personal narrative essays for the first time in their lives. Because the form is new to them, I’ve been flooding them with mentor texts from real life sources, mostly The New York Times “Lives” column and The Globe and Mail “First Person” column. We study structure, imitate style, consider topics and then work on our own essays. Yesterday, we were looking at an essay called “In this age of #MeToo, my daughter needs to know there are good men out there” so that we could study the way the author used multiple short anecdotes to make her point.

My students, ever willing, examined the structure and noticed the chronology, the transitions, the implied thesis, but eventually the discussion turned to the content of the essay itself.

“I really noticed the silencing of women’s voices in this essay.”
“Even her daughter doesn’t have a voice.”
“I appreciate that she trying to point out that there are many good people in the world, but she’s not addressing the bigger picture.”
“Do you see where she credits her partner with being the primary caregiver but then she’s the one with the playpen in her office? I wonder about their definition of primary caregiver.”
“In the end, all of her examples imply that, as a woman, she is a problem and the men are kind for helping her with this problem. They don’t change the way things work, they just make space for the problems she encounters.”

Snapping – our form of quiet clapping – broke out spontaneously around the room at that last comment.

I wish I had recorded the discussion. These young people were understanding of the author’s perspective; they knew what she was trying to do and they sympathized with her. They didn’t disagree that many men are helpful and supportive – and let’s be clear that this discussion included male, female, and a rainbow of LGBTQ+ students – but they were absolutely unwilling to concede that “good” is good enough. They don’t want men to help them lift things, and they don’t want men to change their work schedules to walk them home so they feel safe. They want a world where it actually is safe for them to walk home and where equipment they use to do their jobs is designed so that they can move it without asking a man to help.

I stood in awe of them. My generation owes them more than reminders that many people are kind and that sexism is inevitable. We owe it to them to change the world – and if we don’t, they intend to do it themselves.

 

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Stupid is as stupid does: Slice of Life 9/31 #SOL20

“This is going to sound, well…” she hesitates, turns her head away from me, “I mean, I know it’s silly, but Idon’twanttolookstupid.” Her head comes back around, chin a little up, glistening eyes meeting mine.

I suspect that she’s only meeting with me because her mom – a friend of mine outside of school – made her. I know she wants help, but I also know she doesn’t want to ask for help. No, it’s more than that: she doesn’t want to have to ask for help. But here we are.

*******

Another student stands in front of her class to give a quick presentation. She is well-prepared but visibly nervous. The first thirty-seconds go well, but once she misses a word her colour rises and suddenly she cannot go on. I encourage her gently and she tries again, but she can’t do it. Tears spring to her eyes.

Later, after the others have left the room she apologizes and says, “I just felt so stupid.”

********

“Is he using his computer accommodations?” his mother asks on the phone. I’ve called home because he’s having a lot of trouble writing in class. He just can’t seem to get pen to paper, just can’t seem to get the words from his brain to the end of his fingers.
“No,” I admit, shaking my head, though I know she can’t see me. “He absolutely refuses. He says he doesn’t want to seem stupid.”

********

Look stupid! I want to yell. I want to scream it down the hallways. Look stupid! Just do it! Go out on the limb, take a guess, ask the question! Try the hard way, make a fool of yourself, share your first drafts. Let it all hang out, be yourself, be human. Stop

In class I catch myself saying, “Well, that was stupid” when I make yet another mistake. I look up at a group of soon-to-be graduates, realize what I’ve done and correct myself, “Guess stupid is as good a starting point as any. Might as well keep going.”

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Almost in: Slice of Life 8/31 #SOL20

Today was going to be my day of not writing. I had pre-forgiven myself & reminded myself that I started this month’s challenge knowing that I might not write every day because our renovations are finishing up and we’re moving home. Yesterday, the movers came & took nearly everything out of the apartment we’ve been renting for nine months and moved it all over to our house. They didn’t take everything because of the *tiny* hiccup where our house has not yet been declared “fit for occupancy.” (See here for the whole story.) Which means that we packed and then unpacked all day yesterday, then went back to our almost barren apartment and slept on air mattresses (with two very freaked out cats).

Today promised to be another long & exhausting day with only the air mattresses to look forward to tonight. I woke up ready but already tired. No point in writing, I figured. No one wants to hear about unpacking. And then this happened:

 

Our friends showed up. Tara and Isabella organized almost our entire kitchen. Ed built one of the kids’ beds while Andre toiled away at the master bedroom. Peter and Anita showed up with beer and more kids. Carmen and her girls popped in to say hello and one stayed to help (her sister had a class, or I’m sure she would have stayed, too). Lara & Reagan came with banana bread and stayed to set up Thomas’s room.

Even the 9-year-olds got involved. We challenged them (ok, bribed them) to clear the 4-ish inches of ice from the front walkway. Look at this: img_2404

Not only did they use an ice chopper and a sledgehammer, but our next door neighbour, Mike, came over and gave them lots of tips while he cheered them on (but didn’t do it for them). They got that entire walkway cleared from a winter’s worth of ice.

And now here I am in a house that is newly full of friendship and laughter. The inspector may not think this house is ready for occupancy, but I know that it is.

And how could I not write about this day?

(PS – I will be even happier when we get to sleep here – maybe tomorrow.)

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When English goes to Math: Slice of Life 7/31 #SOL20

“Amanda! Just the person I wanted to see! I have a story you’re going to love.” Mr. W pops into the English office on his prep. We are both pedagogy nerds, and we love the Applied classes we regularly teach. Mr. W teaches math and I teach English, so we often have many of the same students. We like to swap stories and have even managed to create a couple of lessons that overlapped, much to the shock/horror/delight of our students. I’m grinning before he even starts talking.

“So, you have O, right?”

I nod. I have O and four other students for the second semester in a row.

“So, this week has been nothing but trying to get him to pay attention.” Oh, yes, how well I know this. “It’s been his ipod, phone whatever. All week long.”

I am still nodding when Mr. W delivers the twist. “But yesterday, I look up, and what is he doing? He’s reading. I couldn’t believe it. There he is with Harry Potter under his desk. I couldn’t get him to stop. He read for most of the class.”

I wince. “Sorry?” Then I pause, “Actually, sorry not sorry…”

Mr. W gets it. He grins and his eyes twinkle. “But wait! Then, at the end of class, he comes up to me and says, ‘Sorry I wasn’t paying attention, sir, but I’m reading Harry Potter and it’s the first book I’ve ever read without pictures and it’s really good.’ And what could I say? So I agreed. Whatever you’re doing, it’s working.”

I am speechless.

Mr W pauses, letting me take this all in, then says, “But to get you back, next week I’m sending him to English with math worksheets…”

I have to laugh, “You can’t fool me. I know you don’t do worksheets.”

He chuckles, “Drat! You know me too well!” Then he leaves the office, and I sit, quietly stunned.

How lucky I am. How lucky to have a colleague who also loves these students, who knows the value of reading, who takes the time to tell me this story, even though he could have seen this as a disruption

How lucky I am that I get to teach so many of these students for a second semester. Having them all year is a real treat for me. I love how we can move past the routines of the classroom and start to reach for deeper learning. They trust me more: they’re more willing to try a new form of writing, knowing that I’m there to support not judge; they’re more willing to let themselves try a new book. I am so lucky to watch this unfold.

I know that reading is really tough for some of my students; the words on the page just don’t quite come together in their minds for various reasons. Daily independent reading is a hard sell. It takes us weeks (months, for some of them) to fall into the rhythm of regular reading. I have to be extremely consistent and firm. I have to really believe that they need to start where they are and that, for some of my students – grade 10 students – that means spending a semester reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Amulet and Bone. These are all good books, and I’ve read the research about reading & graphic novels & developing readers, but I will admit to moments where I wonder if they will*ever* move forward.

And here we are. O is reading Harry Potter in math class. His mother told me that she went out and bought him the whole series. And J has finished his first chapter book and started The Ranger’s Apprentice series; his mom bought him the series, too. And V is on book 5 of Percy Jackson. M has a favourite author (Jason Reynolds!!).

And me? I’m just going to spend this Saturday morning basking in the feeling that I work in a school where we – students and teachers alike – celebrate our work and our success. What could be better than that?

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