A conversation with myself

Are you sick?
Maybe. Well, I mean, yes, obviously – otherwise I wouldn’t be asking.

How sick?
Achy and headachy, but not sniffling and sneezing.

So probably not contagious?
Probably not

If you go in, what’s the likelihood that you’ll lose your cool before the end of the school day?
If I still feel like this: high

How old are your emergency lesson plans?
Very very old

Not useful, then?
Not even a little

Will making sub plans be better or worse than going in?
Hmm… 50/50

Wow! 50/50! – you really aren’t feeling well.
I’m really not

Does the school still have money to pay supply teachers or will your colleagues have to cover your classes?
We still have some money.

Any classes whose behaviour is likely to make a supply teacher weep or quit?
Yes, one

Of three?
Yes

That seems like a reasonable ratio. The supply teacher can handle it.
Probably, yeah.

Oh, by the way, are you still feeling sick?
Well, yes

Are you sure?
Umm… yes

Do you remember before Covid when going in sick was normal?
Yes

Do you remember that now we’re not supposed to do that?
Well… yes

So why are we talking about this?
Maybe I’m not that sick!

Have you felt sick all day?
Yes

And, for argument’s sake, if you go in and still feel sick, is the next day any easier to miss?
No, in fact it’s worse.

For pity’s sake. Stay home tomorrow.
Harumph. I’ll wait to see if I still feel sick at 9. Then maybe I’ll call in.