Not for the first time this month, I nearly forgot to write. Tonight seems egregious, since it’s the last post of the March Challenge, but there it is. I’m the mom who would forget to leave the house with a spare diaper, even with the second baby – even when the second baby was over a year old. Apparently I have trouble forming new habits.
Of course, part of the reason I almost forgot to write is that I’ve been thinking about this post for a while. Wrapping up a month’s worth of daily writing and publishing is definitely part of the challenge, and this year is no different. I’ve been trying to put into words what I’ve learned this time around, or at least what I experienced. In my head, I’m close to knowing; in writing, I’m a little farther away from conclusions.
This March, I’ve sort of shoehorned writing in around other things. Some years I feel like it’s been more central to the month; this year it’s been more part of the fabric of my days. Predictably, some days have been tough, but mostly I had something to say when I sat down to write. As usual, I feel that I haven’t commented on nearly enough blogs, and I’m missing reading some of my “regulars.” I’ve come to recognize that this is ok.
Mostly, this March has been a reminder that I can do hard things – and I’m allowed to do them in a way that works for me. Write in the evening instead of in the morning? I can do that. Some days comment on only three or four other blogs? I can do that, too. Write a two-sentence post? Sure. Or use almost all pictures? Ok. Heck, accidentally post about extremely similar dinner conversations in the space of three days? Go for it. This month I have forgiven myself over and over for things that, as it turns out, others don’t even notice. Who knew that writing every day would help me continue to shed the shoulds that have governed my life for so long.
Tonight, I went to a class at my gym that I have never tried before. It “includes a little more intensity and choreography than our usual.” Since I can barely keep up with the “usual,” I wasn’t sure that I was making a good choice, but I did it anyway. I had to stop a few times, and for one entire “choreo” track, I gave up and just did my own basic steps. No one cared and I got a great workout. Once I got home, I had to wait a while to stop sweating – which is part of why I nearly forgot to write. The whole thing was more than my usual, but I can still feel the buzz of energy from having finished.
March is like that: it’s more than my usual, but the buzz – from the writing, from the community, from the challenge – lingers long afterwards, and it’s totally worth it.
See you on Tuesdays! (Um, yes, that’s tomorrow.)
Persistence and Pedagogy 
I like the way you characterize how this month’s challenge differs from previous years. I especially love the way you use shoehorn as verb. You offer a great list of the ways you squeezed in the writing over the course of the day despite obstacles.
Golden line: “Who knew that writing every day would help me continue to shed the shoulds that have governed my life for so long.”
A great gift. 🎁 (Thank you, writing).
“This month I have forgiven myself over and over for things that, as it turns out, others don’t even notice.”
Ha! It’s true. The self can be the cruelest critic.
Such a pleasure to read your writing, always.
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It is totally worth it! The anticipation of the month and the buzz during and after is unlike anything else. So grateful to the community, and so grateful to have been able to read your insightful, thought-provoking, fun, and funny slices again this year!
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So lucky you did that extra intense class tonight. It gave you the perfect ending. I felt the same way this year- the writing just was part of the day. I like the idea of letting go of some of the shoulds. I think I can work on that. As always, I’m so grateful you’re here. I love reading your writing and connecting. ❤️
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Great post! I learn a lot from you.
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Amanda,
Today’s post was the hardest one to write all month. I had a draft and tossed it because it was blah and overly sentimental. You’re a damn good writer, and I love your style and humor. Was that gym class Zumba? When I was a slug in gym classes, which was always, I consoled myself by telling myself I’m smarter than the average potato head. I wrote an essay years ago about the testosterone pit at the gym. I wonder how it has held up. Anywho, looking forward to seeing you tomorrow and reading your poems. Cheers!
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Hi Amanda,
I totally almost forgot to write a few times, and I admire that you have recognized to give yourself grace, something I am still working on. Also, good on you for the aerobics class! In many of the classes I go to, the instructors often say, “Don’t worry about keeping up; just keep moving.” That sounds like good advice for slicing and life.
Congrats on finishing the challenge!
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Yup to a lot of this. I don’t think I have as good excuses as you have, either. I love the line, “shed the shoulds” That might have to be on the monitor of my computer. Sometimes, though, I think I give myself too many permissions to lapse, so, on second thought, maybe not on the computer. Maybe beside my bed, though, so I can sleep on the days when I haven’t done as much as I should have. I, too, didn’t comment enough, even on the blogs I consider my favorites, like this one. I was in the morning mode, and you were in the evening mode. Two ships passing. I’ll try to catch up in April. See you on Tuesdays…at least that’s my intention.
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Hey, Amanda! So much of what you say here resonates with me. Every year really is different. Some years you hit a rhythm and it just works… other years it’s a scramble, a shoehorn (as you say! – love that!) or an attempt to draw blood from dry veins. I could not get to as many blogs as I wanted, either – I also couldn’t keep up with responding to comments on my own blog, which I very much enjoy. Alas. I really appreciate your paragraph about allowing yourself to do things in a way that works for you. This part, especially: “This month I have forgiven myself over and over for things that, as it turns out, others don’t even notice. Who knew that writing every day would help me continue to shed the shoulds that have governed my life for so long.” Yes! We have this idea of all that we ‘SHOULD’ do and want to do, i.e., our own notions of doing “well,” when really the point is grow as a writer and connect as best you can. I think others are more forgiving of us than we are of ourselves. I had a mentor long ago that told me to not ‘should’ on myself and I have never forgotten it 🙂 Doing your own basic steps to the choreo track is perfectly acceptable – and a perfect metaphor for the SOLSC. YES, it’s all worth it -! Here’s to writing on!
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We did it! This year felt a lot like a kind of reunion. Since the fall of Twitter and the gradual crumbling of that particular network, coming back here to find so many familiar voices provided a true comfort. I know that there are posts you wrote even five or six years ago that are somehow still with me. So Yay! for friendships that endure across miles and years through words and comment boxes. When I show up here, I always see myself showing up *with* you.
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It’s so interesting how the same challenge can feel very different in different years. I think I also was a bit more relaxed about my posts this year, letting go of some of the “shoulds.” I love your posts and only wish I could have commented more often. I tend to post in the mornings and by the time the work day is done…well, so am I. Regardless of when you post, “the buzz” from this challenge definitely lingers! Hope to see you on some Tuesdays going forward. I always learn from you, and so appreciate that!
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You sound so busy that I never know how you manage to fit writing in around work and family. I’m so glad you do. It’s been great to read your slices!
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