“Put the ball away!” I call over my shoulder as I head towards the classroom door. There’s a ruckus in the hallway that needs adult attention, a teacher visiting from Korea who has just arrived to watch today’s class, and two kids in the back of the room who are bouncing some sort of ball between them – maybe a lacrosse ball? Unclear. I trust that they’ve heard me and step into the hallway. Moments later…no, not moments, seconds… seconds later, I return my attention to the classroom, just in time to hear glass shatter.
They’ve broken one of the fluorescent lights. On the ceiling.
Everyone is silent. Then, they are not, “What happened?” “You two are idiots” “Why don’t the lights have covers anyway? They’re supposed to have covers.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The three boys in the back row are now sitting amidst a scattering of broken glass. I move them to the front row. A little overwhelmed and a little overstimulated by the chaos they’ve caused, they can’t quite stop laughing. I try to remember that this is a normal reaction, but I am annoyed. I start the timer for silent reading – the sound of ocean waves fills the classroom – and call the office to request a custodian.
That sorted, I head to my desk & rifle through a drawer until I find my blank cards. I walk to the front row and put one in front of the main offender. “What’s this for?” He’s aiming for an innocent look, but it’s ruined when he starts to laugh again. “Apologize,” I say tersely, “to the custodians.” He doesn’t argue.
When he’s finished, I pass the card to his friend. I check it over for appropriateness, then return it for signatures.
It takes the custodians two passes to find all the thin shards of glass littering the back of the classroom. After the second sweeping, the boys ask if they can move back to their original seats. I don’t mince words, “No.” They don’t ask again.
****
Once the final bell of the day rings, a young person comes carefully into the room. “Um, Miss,” he starts, “can I have my ball back? I swear I won’t bring it to school again.” He is not one of the two culprits from the morning. I hold back a smile as I solemnly hand him his ball. “Thanks for keeping it at home.”
****
As I write this, my very own 13-year-old walks through the living room, dribbling a soccer ball. “Put. The Ball. Away,” I say.
He complains a little and tells me how unreasonable this rule is, but I do not budge. I am certain that balls are not indoor toys. The boys in my life, apparently, do not agree.
Persistence and Pedagogy 
Oh, friend . You left the international visitor out of the adventure when you shared it with us tonight. That makes it even richer. You are amazing.
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Lately, I feel like when I tell stories about work, I have to edit them carefully or no one would ever believe me… so, yes, there was an international visitor watching this unfold. I chose not to ask what she thought about the whole thing. I like to imagine she was impressed with the card…
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Amanda,
Anyone who has taught MS or HS knows how lucky we are if we’ve never had this happen in our room. I’ve been whacked in the head more than once by a wayward Nerf ball, and I’ve confiscated a few as a sub. As a boy mom, too, I completely understand the *no* to the bouncing soccer ball. Been there. And why do these things happen when visitors are in the school?
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The visitor was an added bonus to a day that wasn’t *quite* going the way I expected. Oh my. I’m trying to remain grateful that no one was hurt & nothing in my house has been broken… yet.
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What a very real and honest glimpse into the daily life of a classroom! I love the juxtaposition of your school students and your own kid. I currently teach elementary school while I also parent an elementary-aged son. The overlap is often uncanny and enlightening! Excellent story, well written.
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Oh the overlap. I have found that teaching 9th graders while parenting them is, um, challenging. It’s a LOT of 9th grade, let me tell you 😉
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Oh my goodness, what a day…and you handled it perfectly for real and in print!
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Thank you!
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I was COMPLETELY impressed by the card. And your composure. Brilliant. For the record, last night I sent my 15 year-old girl out of the dining room, where she was playing with her newly inflated volleyball, so she went to the living room and ‘kept it low’, until it hit the ceiling, bounced off a table and nearly landed on the rabbit. 🐇🏐😣
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The card was kind of a stroke of genius, not gonna lie. And I can only shake my head about the volleyball…
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You can’t make these things up. Never a dull moment and never two days quite like the other. The beauty and the curse…🙃
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